Being The Eldest...
Dear readers, the other day I requested suggestions on what people would like to read in my next blogs in an Instagram story that I uploaded. I'll be writing about the subjects that each person suggested for the next few days. I'm going to start today with the one that drew me in right away. I feel personally invested in it. The entire credit goes to my friend and current classmate Benny (Deego Benwick) for coming up with such an excellent concept.
I've been used to being referred to by my friends as "the mom of the gang" since I was in school. I very clearly recall one of my friends telling me that I've always had a mother instinct to look out for other people, protect them, and show them the love and care they need. Then, I wasn't really understanding what she was trying to tell me. After a few years, I enrolled in college. It took us some time to get used to everything because everything seemed different. I did not see what it meant until the end of my UG years.
I did everything I could to look out for and take care of my friends, from scolding them for not taking care of themselves to making sure they ate and got home safely. During the college tour, I recall holding my friend's hand as we crossed the street. I still get called "mommy" by one of my friends. Only after making sure I accompanied her, did her parents allow her to go out for the day. They trusted me so much with their child. My relationship with my peers was quite different.
It feels so strange now to be the oldest member of the whole group. Some of my classmates were juniors in school. I still have vivid memories of how nervous and confused I felt. Having always been viewed as a senior, I wondered if I would ever be able to fit in and if the others would accept me as a peer. I couldn't help but wonder about some of these things.
Making small talk with them was a little strange at first, but over time, they really made me feel at home. I am now viewed by them as their elder sister, or more accurately, as the "mommy of the gang". 'Mom friend' is the new Gen Z phrase for this. A friend who behaves like a mother, or parent, is known as a mom friend. Someone you can confide in, someone who will look out for you, and someone who, like a mother, will support you without passing judgment. From carrying everything they might need to helping them with their studies and taking care of them has become my routine. The fact that they regard me as a mother figure gave some solace. It simultaneously made me happy and responsible.
Benny asked me, "How it feels to be the oldest of the group?" Despite the short time difference of only a year, at first I had trouble keeping up with the vibe, but with more time it became easier. It did take a while, but eventually it got easier to fit in and adjust. The trick behind this is, when I looked at my friends as my juniors it was difficult for me to accept them as peers and that in turn made it difficult for them to accept their senior as their peer but when I started seeing them as my siblings (brothers and sisters) it made me feel at home. The concept of a 'happy family' made all the difference.
Not my juniors anymore but my siblings!
Love,
JenSa.
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